I Will Always Remember the Day I Grew Up



September, 11 2018

Just like that, it’s been 17 years. Though the years seem to have traveled fast for me as I started the road to motherhood this very day all those years ago, I am and have always been well aware of how endless this time has felt to those who lost loved ones that fateful day.

I grew up that day, I may have already been out of High School with diploma in hand by 9-11-01 and I may have been a legal adult that day, but until the moment I sat with my dad in a random hotel that morning watching tower 2 get hit & then watching the towers fall, I was still just a child.

It was the phone call I got just a few short hours later that same day that I grew up in an instant. In a gas station parking lot surrounded by fields in North Dakota, while rescue workers were living Hell in New York, that Pennsylvania field and in our nation’s capital desperate to save as many as they could and retrieve as many others as they could find, it was the phone call that I answered confirming I was going to be a mom, far sooner than my own plans & intentions had dictated in my head that shook me to my core & grew me up. Just like that… I was terrified, I was momentarily ashamed, and then like a blink of an eye, I grew up. I grasped the blessing that God was bestowing on me at a time when so many were losing so much and I vowed to hold onto it tight. I embraced my blessing of pregnancy, felt the responsibility of this baby to be beginning to set in with God’s grace and knew that this was my own little silver lining to what would forever be remembered as a heartbreakingly enourmous catastrophe…….forever.

The remaining 8 months of my pregnancy as the news continued updating and remembering and the nation started trying to heal and pick up the pieces, I pushed on with a new motivation in life, to not waste the opportunity God had given me, to raise my little example of redemption the best way I knew how with God’s help.

These last 17 years have been a hell of a ride, and 9-11-01 is remembered every day in my head & my heart, but on the anniversary every year it makes me reflect in a little bit different of a way than many. I reflect on how in an instant I was no longer an unknowing oblivious child of a firefighter, but transformed into a fierce mamma bear who FULLY understood the blessing and responsibility bestowed on me and was eyes wide open (for maybe the 1st real time) to the risks my father’s career included.




THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO CONTINUE TO BE THE 1ST LINE OF DEFENSE, our police, firefighters, paramedics, fearless bystanders and of course our many men & women in the military…..we love you and appreciate your strength, courage and willingness to make the ultimate sacrifice for our safety & protection.

As always, thanks for reading, and today I ask you don’t lose your Dazzling but be sure to take a moment to be humbled by the men & women willing to truly sacrifice for what they believe in, and our ability to dazzle through our days. Then take a moment to reflect on all that this nation lost 17 years ago this morning. Dazzling today will be harder for some, and we shall continue to pray for those still in the trenches of grief from their loss.


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