Who is The Dazzling Domestic Dreamer? Part One

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Hello, I am Rebecca Jackson, self-proclaimed as, The Dazzling Domestic Dreamer. I gave myself this title when I decided to make another go at this blog and furthermore, my writing overall. I am in the middle of my 35th year on this planet (as of the writing of this post) and I am the mother of four very busy young ladies, ranging from 16 down to 3. This is “post one” of a three-part blog series that I will be posting across the next few weeks, to introduce myself and my Dazzling Domestic Dreamer lifestyle and mentality. Today we will start in the middle of the blog title but at the beginning of my story, or God’s story as I should properly credit. So let’s jump in where it all began for me and The Dazzling Domestic Dreamer!

First, let’s start with the definition. I pulled this definition for my image from Google and Webster’s Dictionary definitions and compiled the two together to cover the basics of what I think of when my mind goes to the word Domestic…

 

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I jumped into “adulting” head first almost immediately after I graduated from high school, and bypassed my personal dreams to begin a domestic life with the man that is now my husband, my most perfect little surprise gift from God after a brief hiccup in the path I had planned for myself, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Let’s start at my high school graduation,

I had survived high school in my little suburban city here in Northeast Ohio and had begun to figure out who I was as a person but deciding what to do and where to go with those personal discoveries all seemed like too much. Instead of soaring big and heading off to college like I had always imagined, suddenly I was on the edge of that branch, needing to take the leap of faith to jump so I could soar with my little birdie wings, but I decided to hunker down in the “nest” of a community that I had come to know and love instead. I made some “grown-up” choices for myself from the comfort of living at home with my still married parents while my peers headed off to college and I started dipping my toe in the “adult pond” that is life as a grown-up.

My first series of decisions led to some unplanned trials and a very sudden relationship. We got a little apartment and settled into a pretty basic domestic life together and surprisingly to myself, I liked it and I was good at it. Making dinner, decorating, cleaning and maintaining our 2 bedroom townhouse became my new purpose and I had plenty of time to read. Soon after we moved in together we found out we were expecting my first daughter, unplanned but very welcome. We were excited, together, before flashes of potentially violent aggression became present in him and sent me packing, back to my parents home, humbled and feeling like I had failed as an adult before I had barely begun. I got a full-time job and soon after, wound up unexpectedly meeting my (now) husband through that very same full-time sales job. Isn’t it funny how God makes sure to put you back on track when you stray and He finds the most perfect redemption for our missteps? Anyways. I dipped my toe very hesitantly in the dating pond with this guy from work that caught my eye almost immediately after I was hired, and we dated exclusively through the remainder of my pregnancy.

Honestly, I fell in love with him in the first 3 dates but I kept myself guarded and not really confident that what I was feeling was love. Unsure if the ready-made family would scare him off when the baby came and it all got real I kept in under the radar, or so I tried. Just a few short months after feeling like my personal life was finally beginning to make a little more sense, my family life was suddenly crumbling. A few months after we started dating, my parents very suddenly announced a plan to divorce after 27 years of marriage, just months before I was expecting my daughter, already in a tumultuous situation with my ex and learning that my older brother was moving out of state, I was grasping in every direction for consistency and my guy filled that need seamlessly during this trying season. I was so thankful to God for sending this incredible guy and the few pieces of my life that did seem to make sense, I was more confident in my love but still hesitant.

Much to my surprise, he didn’t bolt when the baby arrived that May, instead he hunkered down and fell fast in love with my daughter and I and we became a family, not without our fair share of challenges though.  In those beginning years after my daughter was born, we found ourselves navigating life as a new ready-made family and the complications that can naturally arise when there is an ex in the picture in any capacity, we fought to make it last. We married just over 5 years into our relationship and I dazzled my way into a beautiful domestic life as a wife and mother of two. We purchased what we had planned to be our starter home all by my 25th birthday (a home we still live in over 10 years later) and shortly after doing so I had tapped back into a personal passion for writing, and in just 3 months typed out my first draft of my first fiction novel, to the tune of almost 300 pages. Just another 3 months later we learned that we were going to be adding our third daughter to our family, all of this before I was 30. Life was back on track and I was feeling unstoppable…

Life was great, then slam on the breaks!

(cue the screeching tires and breaking glass sound effects)

…before I knew what was happening, I had completely spiraled out of unstoppable and into frazzled, I had lost my dazzle. Life’s demands, ever-changing hormones through 3 pregnancies, 3 postpartum seasons (complete with some undiagnosed PPD & PPA), nursing challenges totaling a combined 32 months, some unexpected job changes for my husband and the beginning of my season as a stay at home mom, (which truth be told I thought would be ah-may-zing turned out to be the most challenging season of my life yet, but oh so rewarding…..I digress back to the story). I was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and completely lost in my own body. I didn’t know who I was anymore, what I wanted, what I even enjoyed at all. I had been a mom, not stop, putting those little kiddo’s and my husband first for 8 straight years and I felt like I needed to be introduced to myself again. Who is this hot mess of an excuse for a put together housewife that I had become? Oh, and where were her friends?

I began slowly recognizing that I needed to prioritize myself, and my hobbies again. I decided to start a blog for myself, to have a virtual diary of sorts. I started to connect at church with women’s and children’s ministry opportunities in a social way and not just a service way. I let myself care about my own appearance again, dressing to make myself happy and taking time to care about my own health and well being. Life as a mother of 3 got busy again and one by one these revelations I had come to all started to fall by the wayside again, starting with my blog. As my oldest neared high school the reality that I was running out of time with her set in and I began to schedule myself crazy again trying to get all the extra’s in and encourage her personal growth in all the right ways, or so I had hoped to. I had inadvertently begun to frazzle out again a little bit.

Right as I was nearing the assumed end of my season as a stay at home mom, with my third daughter approaching kindergarten age, we fell into “baby-fever” and decided on one last attempt at giving God a chance to give us a boy, one attempt was all it took for me to be expecting again, and nine months later we welcomed our 4th daughter. Yes, we tried again and didn’t get the boy, we were not trying FOR A BOY, we were trying one more time FOR A BABY, and if God gave us a boy baby that time then we would have been tickled “Blue” but instead, I turned my daughter triangle into a daughter square and we filled the last crevices of our “starter home” with even more little girl necessities. She is the absolute light of my life and is so much my mini-me and my biggest fan all rolled into one. My older daughters welcomed her home with complete adoration and haven’t stopped talking about how she is the cutest yet, and how they must start a 4 sisters music group when she is old enough! We really weren’t complete as a family without her…………but her addition did inevitably wind me back in a tailspin towards Hot Mess Mom and that PPD & PPA began rearing it’s ugly head again…

When We Feel Weak He Will Carry US…

I immediately recognized the tailspin and my husband and I discussed the need for me to get ahead of the situation by prioritizing me better through this new baby season and proactively taking steps to ensure I do that……

Re-enter my blogging adventure…

…. I logged back in for the first time in over a year knowing that finding my way back to writing had been a key step at the beginning of prioritizing me after my season of frazzle had first begun years earlier and so it would be a key piece of reigniting that previously tapped spark that had started to bring my dazzle back. I began to think big and dream about my potential as I hadn’t ever let myself do before and I began to redesign the blog, the image, and my brand, for a new launch and future fiction writing projects. My previous blog title paid tribute to my 3 sweet daughters, and since I now had 4 daughters, a new name was necessary. I began to brainstorm, this meant really thinking about me and what I was realistically intending on using this blog to share about and what I hoped for this brand to translate to my readers.

Like only God could, moments after setting off on this task of branding brainstorming, He planted the perfect 3 words in my head and the new name IMMEDIATELY felt right. Knowing that my “Domestic” life and housewife tendencies will always play a big role in who I am and who I have become through the experiences I have, the challenges I have faced and the creativity I enjoy and am always being asked to share as a woman, I decided to use my blog to celebrate me and my particular brand of mothering, wife-ing, and altogether personal dazzling from a modern day domestic woman’s POV. My mission, to share those experiences, challenges, and ideas with other women, other boss lady business owners, other moms, other modern-day domestic women and other creative young women with a dream and no direction, like I once was. Thus,

The Dazzling Domestic Dreamer

was born…

I thrived in my renewed blogging adventure until tragedy struck, (read about that HERE )

…and just as we were ready to shake past that heartbreaking season we found ourselves in, tragedy struck again a month later. (read about that HERE ) We powered through and work through our grief challenges still daily as we have navigated a series of other deaths close to us since and I pushed forward to stay on my mission to regain my Dazzle, through the last year and a half I have remained focused on living and sharing my Dazzling Domestic Dreamer Mission.

Check back to see how I found the Dazzling, how fitting it is for me, and how I keep proactively working to keep the Dazzling in my journey!

Thanks for reading, and remember to embrace the Domestic side of your life, it can help you discover you and keep your priorities in focus, but don’t live it so literally you become an unappreciated servant to those in your life.

~Rebecca

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