This weeks To Do List Tuesday is to…
…pack my bags for a romantic 10 year wedding anniversary road trip with my main squeeze!
We married 10 years ago on June 15th 2007 and we covered the bulk of our wedding expense ourselves. Because of this we had plans to take a second Honeymoon when we reached the ten-year mark because after paying for the wedding we wanted with family & friends we couldn’t take the honeymoon we had originally hoped. Our plans originally included a vow renewal ceremony and a Caribbean vacation but our plans have very little to do with our real lives!
After the rough start to our year, and the realization that in the 10 years we have been married, we have only managed a handful of nights away together, but not more than one night at a time and really only a handful of times, my husband and I knew we had to still manage some sort of getaway to celebrate. Ten years is a big deal especially in today’s culture and generation of all time high divorce rate. And even if it wasn’t a big deal to the rest of the world, it’s a big deal for us. We have had our fair share of ups and downs in our 15 1/2 years together, the large majority of those in the 10 years since we have been married. Our lows at times coming so swiftly behind the last that we could barely keep our heads above it all, in those times it has been he that I have needed more than any other person in my life. I regularly tell him, in this crazy ride we call life, He is the only decision I’ve made that I am certain of day in and day out. He is my best friend, my partner in crime, the most amazing baby daddy, loving father to our 4 beautiful daughters and provider above all other than God for our family. Cliche it is but I love him so much more today than I did the day we got married.
A Getaway is needed…
We need a break…
A chance to Refresh…
Time to Relax & be playful grown-ups again!
So off we are headed to satisfy this list! We head out in a little over a day thanks to my awesome mother who will be staying with our girls while we are gone, allowing their routine to stay as normal as possible because our absence is bound to be noticed! Our kiddo’s are already expressing their woes that we are leaving….
…This brings me to my 1st of 5 tips to a successful romantic road trip!
Tip #1 – ACTUALLY TAKE A ROMANTIC GETAWAY!
You are only going to continue being happily married and have a successful cohesive parent unit for your kiddo’s if you take time to just be the two of you again. This needs to be done regularly at a far more scaled down level by way of sneaking out for a date night or even setting up a date night in after the kids are in bed. However you do manage to do it, do it often, but occasionally you have to go big and give yourselves the chance to really get back in those places in your mind, memory and heart that will remind and rekindle the feelings you had when everything about your relationship was easy. We all have things that fight for our attention on a daily basis but we must remember to make our spouse a priority amidst all the chaos. Despite the crying children who just don’t want you to go, you must set a plan in action. Find a trusted, responsible caregiver to help you out, friends, family, who ever is in “your village” that you trust with your kids while you two sneak away and then you must actually sneak away, have fun and rekindle…
Tip #2 – TAKE A LITTLE TIME BEFORE YOU LEAVE TO GET YOUR CHILDREN’S CARE & ENTERTAINMENT HANDLED…
This may sound like just another series of things to put on your to-do list but I assure you it WILL pay off while you are gone. (A) If it is possible to get someone to watch your kids in your normal residence that will greatly help keep your kids from wanting to call a hundred times a day to tell you how much they miss you. Being in their personal comfort zone with a caregiver they trust is the first key, in my opinion, to keeping the kids in a calm head space while you and your Honey get away.
(B)You may want to consider either preparing ahead meals for your caregiver to just do basic prep, heating & serving for your kids while you are away but I urge you to at least do a good grocery shop before you leave to be sure to leave food and drinks that your kids will not fight about with the substitute caregiver. If you chose a few recipes you know the kids will enjoy you could drastically improve the stress at mealtime for them by at least having the ingredients and snacks of choice on hand while you are gone.
(C)Also I recommend you do find a way to take the time to prepare some fun new ideas or activities for the caregiver to do with your kids. No one knows your kids better than you, so taking a little time to prepare ahead for some of their entertainment can be the key to the boredom buster and in my experience when kids get bored and restless they tend to push their luck more. Whether you pick up an inexpensive new toy to help them be excited and distracted by or a new movie they have been wanting to see, some steps of preparation in advance will be greatly appreciated by your caregiver and your spouse alike! It could be a simple as a new book or coloring book, just something fresh & new to them will be a helpful distraction.
(D)It almost goes without saying but, be sure to be ahead of the dirty laundry also because there needs to be a good selection of clean clothes for your kids while you are gone too, and you want the best selections from your closet available for you to pack from also of course! With no kids to get ready while away, you can take little extra time to make yourself look & feel fancy again. A good night dressed up and out with my man can do wonders for my self esteem!
Tip #3 – GIVE YOUR VEHICLE A GOOD DETAIL THE DAY BEFORE YOU LEAVE…
This tip may seem like a waste of time because you are heading off on a road trip and you are bound to get the new detail job messed up right? Well yeah you may, but do it anyways! (A)Realistically detailing your vehicle is allowing your contained date space for the road trip to be clean, comfortable and clear of all kid paraphernalia. This is the first step to making sure that you have a good atmosphere for your romantic road trip in your driving date space and let’s be honest you are not messier than your kids, it will likely stay that way the majority of your travels, excluding any crappy weather situations.
(B)While detailing and de-kid-cluttering your vehicle make sure any safety seats for your kids are removed and properly installed in your caregivers vehicle so you know they are installed correctly & safely giving you peace of mind over their travels while you are off on your romantic escape.
(C)Also take the kids music, movies, ecetera out of the player and make room for you and your boo’s favorite music! No Wiggles, or Disney soundtracks, or Kids Bop cd’s need to be on hand for your romantic getaway. Instead pre-load your wedding songs and any other music sentimental for you two into your vehicle by way of cd’s or blue tooth connection with your phone. We actually have a CD from the DJ at our wedding with all of the key songs and an assortment of others music played during our reception and you can bet that will be going with us so we can musically stroll down memory lane!
Tip #4 – MAKE A LIST & BE DISCREET WITH YOUR PACKING UNTIL THE FINAL GOODBYE
I give this tip because my kids do not like when I or my husband, and especially both of us, are going to be gone. (A)If they watch me wander around packing at the last minute it just creates more unnecessay build up for the moment of the final goodbye. If I pack in stages across the week before leaving I can get the bulk of the work of packing finished completely under their radar before we even load up the vehicle.
(B.)I absolutely always have to write a list, and I start this list usually about 2 weeks out from the departure date. This let’s me tweak my list some on paper based on any changes in the weather or itinerary that may come up and still allows me to have a clear picture of what needs to be packed to work off of when I start pulling things aside. Taking time to actually go through a detailed list of items from, Toiletries to make-up, and clothing selections with shoes and accessories can prevent you from taking too much. Instead of packing a bunch of “in case” and “maybe” items you can focus clearly on the trip at hand, the itinerary & weather you will be anticipating and your actual preferances for outfits.
(C)Remember, the idea of a romantic getaway is to rekindle and reenergize the bond between you two. This means it’s not only ok to put a little extra effort into you “look” while vacationing together, it’s totally encouraged! Don’t try too hard, and be natural for you, but don’t be afraid to try to impress him again like you would have while you were still dating and getting to know each other. Just because you now have spent all these extra years of wedded bliss together doesn’t mean you have to give up trying on behalf of the other! Put the spark back into your confidence and your relationship by allowing yourself the ability to get dolled up for you while you can with no little hands grabbing or little bottoms trying to sit in your lap, and prepare for it.
Tip #5 – ONCE YOU HEAD OUT ON THE ROAD, TRY YOUR VERY BEST TO KEEP ELECTRONIC DISTRACTIONS AND DIFFICULT TOPICS AT BAY!
This tip should go without saying in my opinion but in this super über technological age we are living in, keeping electronic distractions at a minimum can seem almost impossible. (A)If you are partaking in the distractions together, simultaneously and focusing on the same exact distraction then I consider it occasionally ok, but the point of this trip is to get a mini retreat for just you two, so shutting down excess distractions is first and foremost a step you should take. no mindlessly scrolling in the passenger seat of across the table from each other during your meals. No being pulled away for one work trip, or a friend who really needs you, over and over again. With the exception of checking in on your kids via phone, facetime, skype, ect. I don’t really encourage outside phone calls. Be serious and intentional about spending this time together creating memories and talking about your future together. The only time you should be reaching for your cell phone is when you are getting ready to snap a picture of a moment you want to capture, then if you feel led, QUICKLY share it with the world and move on to the next part of your adventure!
(B)This brings me to the last part of this tip, don’t discuss difficult topics if it can at all be avoided. There is a time and place for these to be discussed but likely on a romantic getaway is not the best time to get into the nitty gritty of life, focus your discussion in a positive, uplifting place as a couple as much as humanly possible. Now if there is a rift to begin with and this getaway is an attempt to correct & repair that rift, then I understand the need to take advantage of the quiet uninterrupted time with no kids to discuss, but remember to talk. Calming, not defensively, not overly offensively, not heated, not loudly and not too much. Be respectful of each other and look for activities and outings that can draw on the nostalgic beginnings to tap into that good old-fashioned puppy love again.
(C)Be mindful not to forget the ROMANTIC part. Now I am a bit of a verbal prude in the romance department so for this part of the tip I encourage you to tap into what works for you two and allow yourself to be vulnerable & excited about spending this time together. Naturally those sparks will ignite again in ways you may likely have forgotten if you are intentional with each other and in tune with the butterflies of renewed quality time.
Sneak in some new adventures and outside of your typical “box” of ideas!
I am super excited about our chance to sneak away and I look forward to getting to experience some fun first’s together again, explore new areas and enjoy a place of nostalgia for us with no kids in tow this time. I love my girls and I really would do just about anything for them, but I only got them by loving my man well and being open to God’s newest adventure’s for my life, because He knows well that my plans for myself didn’t include any of what I now have. In an effort to continue letting His Will be mine, I know that require’s some nurturing of my marital relationship in a very intentional way. My kids will only be under my roof for a season and though I want to soak in every last second of them being young, I also long to nourish my connection with the man I’ve chosen to spend my life with because when my girls are all grown and off on their own life adventure’s I still want this man to like and love me, and I still want to like and love him back! But maybe even more important to me is taking the time I have with him to create lasting loving memories of just us as well as our family because truth be told, I don’t know how many years God plans for our life here on earth to continue together and I want to be certain there is an overflowing well of memories should God’s Will include one of us needing to draw on them alone one day.
So now I must head back to my list of things to do for our trip and I will leave you with this last thought, before there was a little family tree, there was just the two of you, take the time to nurture just that part of your family tree intentionally, your children need that of you, to allow generations of love to continue to grow from the roots you two have planted together! Now go forth and Dazzle your way through this beautiful summer week and start thinking about the little and potentially BIG ways you can begin to pour back into your marriage roots, maybe you start with a little night out or maybe it’s a Romantic Road Trip! The important thing is that you take a step!
As always, Thanks for reading!